I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw me in dark, he created light. He […]
Student asks a sage, “What is love?” The sage replied, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the field, going thru first […]
1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in nappies. ********** 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. ********** 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there. ********** 4. Never […]
HARD-DISK Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER. RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off. WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her. SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun! INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access. SERVER […]
He does not buy the car and does not take a car loan. Does not buy fuel. Does not use the services of repair shops and car washes. Does not fear “civic responsibility”. Does not use paid parking. Does not become obese. Yes, and well, dammit! Healthy people are not needed for the economy. They […]
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her b00bs almost hanging out. He couldn’t concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone […]
A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road. Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured […]
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool. The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. “Are we living in a police state”, they shouted, “where we cannot call the PM a fool”? Churchill’s reply was truly […]
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, “Hey, you gave me the wrong change!” The cashier said, “Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don’t make corrections after you leave. There’s nothing I can do about it now. That’s the policy […]
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. Finally, the doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed,” she replied. “Well! We’ll have to check you […]